The What If? Scenario
by Blackdeer7
Summary: What if Lakota Shepard and her crew didn't survive the siege on the collector base? The following is her contingency plan: personal logs, notes on crew and letters. Complete at one time, but neglected some key crew members. They revolted. Back In Progress
1. Prologue: Letter to Liara

**Author's Note:  
****  
**This all takes place before the Omega 4 Relay, so trust is a central theme in each dossier. The writing style, especially in the logs, is a very loose, first person, journal type of format. Overall, this is a depiction of my ME2 playthru with Lakota and how she reacted and/or responded to various scenarios.

After working on another story, "Movie Night On the Normandy SR-2", I realized I overlooked a few key characters, so I decided to go back through this story to edit and add a few absent chapters. Basically, I cleaned up grammatical errors and added a bit to some log files. The prologue and final letter to Liara (the love letter) were completely revamped.

The newest chapters are The Doctor and The Counselor. The remaining two, The Pilot and The AI, will be posted soon. Yes, they were the ones who protested the loudest. Whoops!

To all of those who inquired: Yes, Liara will be getting this information in the near future (Lakota successfully destroyed the collector base without any casualties.) And yes, Liara will have a few comments of her own.

As always, thanks for reading!

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

_**This message has been encrypted by Chiktikka protocol VII **_

From: Commander Lakota Shepard, SPECTRE

Liara T'Soni,

I have need of you. If you are reading this, then my mission through the Omega 4 relay failed and we are not coming home. As an information broker with a personal interest in both the crew and our mission, I am sure you are well informed about most details and will intuit whatever is left out of the "official" reports. Most individuals are unaware of these galactic dealings, these quiet shadow wars that occur on the edges of space. They are unaware of sacrifices made and the bold attempts to quell the oncoming dark storm.

Twice in as many years individuals from many races joined together and launched themselves against an enemy we barely comprehend, but one we know has each species' annihilation in sight. Round one was a successful campaign- Saren was defeated, Sovereign was destroyed and the Council was saved, but at the cost of many lives. Lives that had no voice once they were gone. This is my attempt at a remedy. I do not regret past actions, but instead will do things differently in the now. Round two has banded together, yet again, an interspecies crew under my leadership to throw a fist in the enemy's face. Leaving all they knew, my crew relinquished their fate into my hands, and I do not want them to be filed away and forgotten.

Too much death and loss have occurred; too much has happened by my hands and my actions alone. I understand the consequences of war, and I regret none of my choices while in pursuit of its end, but with this letter I hope for a chance to honor those who have fallen with me and to atone for the loss of those who fell before.

My request of you is this: I ask that you make their sacrifice known. Make their courage and fortitude be known by more than just myself. I look around at my crew, and I am proud, I am humbled, but ultimately I am honored to lead these brave souls into battle.

A transmission will be sent back through the relay to update Cerberus on the final mission status. I made sure it will be sent to multiple other jumpboxes, and one will embed that final message to this encrypted file before being sent to you. Tali assures me it is untraceable.

You are now the only individual outside of Cerberus who knows the truth.

I have included my personal dossiers on the crew. These comprise my personal notes, speculations and observations. I trust you to do the right thing with this information.

Please don't let them be forgotten.

Be well. Live well.

-Lakota

_Today is a good day to fight-  
Today is a good day to die.  
–Crazy Horse, Oglala Sioux_

P.S. I do have one regret. I regret that this letter is being read…that I failed to bring my people home.


	2. Cerberus Officer

**Cerberus Officer: Miranda Lawson**

**Log 1:** A hardcore bitch. Control chip, my ass. I'll put a well placed bullet between your eyes. Don't forget who I am and what I can do. The "Savior of the Citadel" is not above bitch-slapping your happy ass out the airlock. I know you're reading this. It's the next best thing to a control chip.

**Log 2:** She has yet to learn how to command by earned respect instead of overbearing attitude. A sign of deep insecurities.

**Log 3:** She is focused and has her own kind of brutality. Powerful biotic, but I can think of five different ways to incapacitate her.

**Log 4:** Her genetically engineered origin came with a lot of heavy baggage. She sees it as her reason for being good at what she does. She's jealous of me because she feels I succeeded by my own skill, talent and drive. Don't forget my winning personality and ability to charm or bludgeon anybody in my way.

**Log 5:** Our talks have gone as well as can be expected. Begrudgingly, she is earning my respect. I still don't trust her any farther than I can throw her though. Cerberus will never have my loyalty. Ever. I will never forget Akuze.

**Log 6:** I believe the Illusive Man's actions regarding the colony on Horizon may have affected Miranda more than she is willing to show. I see her blind confidence in him wavering. Slowly, her eyes are opening to the bigger picture. But I'm not sure how she will interpret what she sees. And I'm not sure what she will do when she doesn't like what she sees.

**Log 7:** Miranda came to me with a personal request. Help her get her sister, Oriana, to safety and out of reach from their ruthless father. Back to Illium we go.

**Log 8:** We saved Oriana, but at the cost of Miranda's friend, Niket. Although he betrayed her, Miranda didn't kill him. An asari Eclipse merc, Enyala, did. I will shed no tears over it. I am especially proud of the way I handled the Eclipse merc who was fond of monologues. Neck snapping and dropping explosive crates really weeds out the rabble. Afterward, I encouraged Miranda to introduce herself to Oriana. What could it hurt? I felt they would both would benefit from such a connection. Miranda obviously cares a great deal about her sister.

**Log 9:** I hacked Miranda's e-mail and found she's continued conversing with Oriana. Good for her.

**Log 10:** Miranda has softened a bit and I now see the spark of a genuine leader emerging. She is finding value in herself beyond her cybernetic and genetic alteration. Trust was the key to unlocking her potential. A key Cerberus couldn't find if was stuck up their ass.

**Log 11: **I was able to stave off a volatile incident between Miranda and Jack today. They are like oil and water bottled in a nuclear device. They need to save that hostility for the collectors.

**Log 12:** Miranda has proven herself to me. I can't quite shake the Cerberus affiliation, but I know she will follow me to whatever end. And I trust her at my back when the bullets start flying.


	3. Cerberus Soldier

**Cerberus Soldier: Jacob Taylor**

**Log 1:** Jacob Taylor was the first person I saw upon awakening in the Cerberus facility. He comes off as an honest individual. Too bad he works for Cerberus.

**Log 2:** One thing I can't quite shake: at our first meeting, he deferred to my leadership without missing a beat. Either my facial scars are more intimidating than I thought, or he has issues leading.

**Log 3:** A soldier's soldier, he is solid and seems stable. He is a skilled fighter who has biotic abilities in his arsenal. The key to taking him out is to hit hard, fast and often. No problem. Six scenarios come to mind.

**Log 4:** He says he doesn't fully trust Cerberus, but they are getting things done in a way the Alliance, with all of its red tape, can't. Although I have thought the same thing, it doesn't make me trust him anymore than before.

**Log 5:** Jacob and I have some of the same ideas regarding the new recruits we're picking up. Miranda and I seem to have opposite viewpoints. Why do I respect Miranda more than Jacob?

**Log 6:** I think I've figured it out. Jacob doesn't have that spark, that *thing*, that makes everyone else stand out among a crowd. He's a good man. He's a good soldier. He's a good friend. He's just not *great*. I don't dislike Jacob. In fact, I think his ability to be "good" is the glue that holds the rest of the _Normandy_ crew together. He is approachable in way that no other member, including myself, can be.

**Log 7:** Jacob received a personal message about his father's starship; a ship that went missing ten years ago. We are headed out to investigate.

**Log 8:** Jacob's father makes me grateful that I will never know my parents. After the Hugo Gernsback crashed and the captain died, Ronald Taylor was promoted to acting captain. Native food impaired mental faculties, so Ronald kept the ship's rations for himself. He made the planet his own personal paradise, and used the men and the women for his own needs and personal desires. For ten years, he played puppet master until he was about to run out of food, and then turned on the distress beacon. I left Ronald Taylor to his fate at the hands of the survivors, who undoubtedly attacked him soon after we left planet. Jacob had no issue with this decision. His father was already dead to him.

**Log 9:** It is nice to have a member of the crew who isn't all that complicated. Refreshing.

**Log 10:** Miranda is the one who sent Jacob the information about the Hugo's distress signal. She wanted to "fulfill and old promise". Whatever promise that was, Jacob is now fully focused on the mission.


	4. The Professor

**The Professor: Mordin Solus**

**Log 1:** Found Mordin on Omega, in the slums, where he was working on a cure for a bioengineered plague affecting the station. Mordin identified it having collector origin. Helped him disperse the cure and eliminate the plague.

**Log 2:** Odd individual. Even by salarian standards. Turns out he served with Captain Kirrahe (met him on Virmire). Even mentioned the "Hold the line" speech. I have to agree with Mordin though; I prefer getting things done, and then going home.

**Log 3:** Smart guy, but I think he could talk himself into a corner, and then back out again and not realize all he did was turn around.

**Log 4:** Found out Mordin was with the salarian STG and participated in modifying the krogan genophage. He called it population control. I disagree. And I cannot acquiesce to his actions. To assume a race is going to continue on a single path of destruction ignores the idea of change. And krogan can change. I hold Wrex up as an example.

**Log 5:** With Mordin's help, the ship and offensive upgrades are underway. The collectors won't know what hit them.

**Log 6: **Mordin really came through for us on Horizon. His countermeasure made us invisible to the collector's seeker swarms. Saved our butts.

**Log 7:** Went to Tuchanka because Mordin thought an old assistant, Maelon, had been abducted by Krogan mercenaries. Turns out Maelon was voluntarily working on a genophage cure, but in a completely sadistic fashion. We stopped his experiments, and I intervened when Mordin was about to blow his head off. Right or wrong, we salvaged the research.

Also, I had the pleasure of blowing up a gas tank while a krogan from the Weyrloc clan stood on it. He ranted about how his clan and the Blood Pack would spread krogan dominance across the galaxy. Yeah. Not today. Idiot.

**Log 8:** Mordin had a crisis of faith after the genophage modification project. I may have judged him too harshly. Hell, I may have been projecting because of my choice to destroy the genophage cure at Virmire. I still don't like the choices made, but I have no business judging him.

**Log 9:** Ship and weapon upgrades continue to go well. Mordin really is a genius.

**Log 10:** And he is a genius who sings. He sang some "Gilbert and Sullivan" today. He's actually fairly good.

**Log 11:** Mordin asked if I was attracted to him. My stunned silence was enough for him to decline entering into a relationship with me. I couldn't resist, so I accepted his refusal. He then stated, "If wanted to try human, would try you." What a RIOT! He makes me laugh on so many levels. Though I would never laugh about it in front of him. I had to bite my lip and pinch my arm, but I didn't laugh.


	5. Archangel

**Archangel: Garrus Valarian**

**Log 1:** On Omega looking for Archangel. Aria T'Loak pointed us in the right direction.

**Log 2:** Archangel is my old friend, Garrus! And just like old times, we had to shoot our way out of trouble. Garrus took a heavy hit, but he was too stubborn let it get the best of him. Now he's sporting some new scars that will always serve as a reminder of the time we took out three merc groups –at once! Good times!

**Log 3:** I didn't realize I felt so alone. With Garrus at my back, I finally feel that I am gaining some ground. To hell with Cerberus, Garrus is my brother at arms! That is enough for now.

**Log 4:** Edgier and more judgmental than before. The past two years have worn serious craters into him. Maybe he should calibrate something. Seems to make him happy.

**Log 5:** He needs to lay his demons to rest. Personal demons will flay you quicker than any physical enemy. Distraction is not an option.

**Log 6:** We are headed to the Citadel. Garrus has some loose ends to tie up. His former partner, Sidonis, the one who betrayed Garrus' team and got them all killed, is currently keeping company with a forger known as Fade.

**Log 7: **We chatted up the C-Sec officer Captain Bailey and found that Fade hung out near the warehouse. When we got there some krogan tried to get in our way. That didn't work out too well for them. When we got to Fade, he turned out to be that lecherous loser, Harkin, a former C-Sec officer that hit on me a couple of years ago. Wish I had clocked him back then. He didn't waste any time singing about Sidonis. I should have let Garrus shoot him, but instead, Garrus bashed him in the head. Wish I could have been the one to hit him.

**Log 8:** Sidonis is dead. Garrus took him out. I spoke with Sidonis long enough to hear that he had, indeed, betrayed Gurus' team. Unforgivable in my book. You don't betray family or friends. I stepped aside and let Garrus take the shot.

**Log 9:** Garrus and Tali were with me on the Citadel today. Garrus reminded her of elevator rides. Tali reminded him of the shotgun at her hip. I laughed out loud. I don't think they noticed.

**Log 10:** Garrus seems to have made peace with his past. It was refreshing to spend time with him, Chakwas and Tali rehashing "the good old days" of chasing Saren around the galaxy. Haven't seen him laugh like that since we met up again. Good thing Wrex doesn't know all the stuff we blamed on him.

**Log 11:** Reach versus flexibility. Conjures all sorts of images, doesn't it?

**Log 12:** Finally some fun with Garrus! A pyjak shootout on Tuchanka. Won't have to worry about those monkey-like bastards getting into the food stores anytime soon.


	6. Subject Zero

**Subject Zero: Jack**

**Log 1:** Going to the prison ship, _Purgatory_, to pick up the convict Jack who is rumored to be the most powerful human biotic in existence. This should be loads of fun.

**Log 2:** Rescued "Jack" after Warden Kuril tried to imprison me. In order to do it, I had to free all of the prisoners on the ship. At least Kuril won't be around to waste anymore space. "Boo!" asshole. I have asked EDI to monitor the extranet for signs of the escapees.

**Log 3:** Jack is a raw, edged personality. Psychopath is putting it mildly, but an undeniable, biotic power-house. She will be difficult to rein in. No bullshit required.

**Log 4:** She didn't kill Jacob. That is progress.

**Log 5:** Emotional in battle, distracts easily when enraged (easy to piss off, as well), head-shot is the only sure way of taking her down. I need more practice with concussive ammo. Don't want to kill her, just knock her cold.

**Log 6:** She mentioned going rogue and being a pirate. Admittedly, I like that idea. Maybe in my next life.

**Log 7:** Cerberus. Yet again this group's diabolical experiments come to light. For a rogue agency, they seem to have a lot of rogue cells of their own. After all this time, you'd think TIM would have a better handle on things. We nuked the facility on Pragia that housed Jack during her formative years. We ran into another childhood biotic, Aresh, who was under the delusion of restarting the facility. She let him go. An odd bit of compassion, but I agreed with it. Maybe she saw something of herself in him.

**Log 8:** She's lowered some of her shields with me. Persistence and my indestructible, stubborn ego helped. As much as she can, she trusts me now.

**Log 9:** Finally. She has put on some clothes. I'm not a prude and I love tattoos, but I would think she'd get cold with nothing but ink covering her skin.

**Log 10:** She didn't kill Miranda. That is huge progress.

**Log 11:** Jack is now part of the team. Although she would say, "Fuck you, Shepard!" she knows she's changed. She doesn't seem too upset by it either.


	7. Krogan

**Krogan: Grunt**

**Log 1:** Went to Korlus to find a krogan warlord named Okeer and ended up running into Rana Thanoptis, the asari scientist I scared to living hell on Virmire. She told me all about the "purebred" krogan research Okeer was doing, and then ran because "she knows how I operate". If I catch her in another demented lab setting, she'll truly experience how I operate.

**Log 2:** Okeer is dead and I've no remorse about it. He worked with the Collectors. I took his tank bred, super-soldier krogan with us though. He will either be an asset or a liability. Damn. He is BIG.

**Log 3: **Freed the krogan from the tank. Not a mistake. Glad I had the gun though. I miss Wrex.

**Log 4:** He named himself "Grunt." It suits him. He has a lot of questions about what it means to be Krogan and I have no answers for him.

**Log 5:** He continues to ask me questions. I do my best to be krogan-esque. Turns out, I am a good krogan.

**Log 6:** I am fond of Grunt. Love his "no holds barred" mentality. Says what he means, means what he says. Basic and brutal. Refreshing.

**Log 7:** He is in a "squishy" phase. Everything is squishy to him. Tali, Zaeed, Garrus, Jack… I need to take him on more side missions. He needs to focus on squishing something other than his crewmates.

**Log 8:** Squishing things seems to be helping.

**Log 9:** Grunt needs guidance that only a true krogan can give. Hopefully, the krogan on Tuchanka will be able to help. I've been told that Urdnot Wrex is now the clan leader. Wrex. The battles we faced. The foes we defeated. It has been too long, my brother. I look forward to seeing you.

**Log 10:** Squished a thresher maw today. That makes an even dozen for me. Felt good to nuke the fucker. Ever since Akuze, they are my personal nemeses. Wish I had the Collector beam on Akuze.

**Log 11:** Grunt's rite of passage has settled his blood thirst a bit. He still wants to crush things, but now he has some patience. I, on the other hand, feel a bit itchy for battle. Head butting clan leader Uvenk felt good to me. Killing him when he ambushed us felt even better. Maybe there is some krogan in me after all. Not enough to take the breeding request seriously though.

**Log 12:** I am Grunt's Battlemaster now. He is pure krogan. I am proud of him, but I would never tell him that. Better to point him in the direction of battle.


	8. The Merc

**The Merc: Zaeed Massani**

**Log 1:** Picked up Zaeed on Omega. Apparently, he has some ties to the Blue Suns. He may be useful when it is time to round up Archangel.

**Log 2:** What an ASS!

**Log 3:** What a JACKASS!

**Log 4:** An ass, but an honest ass. Didn't expect that in a merc. I don't like him, but I respect him. Feeling is mutual.

**Log 5:** Chakwas and Zaeed swapped war stories most of the night in the mess. I'm not sure which tales were more depressing. Seems Zaeed's stories always end with his squad dying. Glad I'm the one leading this crew.

**Log 6:** Part of the deal in attaining Zaeed is that we hunt down his old partner, Vido. Turns out they started the Blue Suns together, but Vido turned on him. For the past twenty years, Zaeed has been seeking Vido, and now he is on Zorya, so we are heading there to get him. Founding the Blue Suns is impressive. Too bad the Suns have turned out to be such idiots. They lost something when they lost Zaeed.

**Log 7:** Idiot! Zaeed torched a warehouse and endangered workers lives in order to quench his thirst for revenge. He's lucky I didn't leave him on that planet to rot. Or put a bullet in his head. He was like a rabid, ornery varren. We saved the workers, but Vido got away. I made sure Zaeed saw the line I drew with his one good eye. Made sure he knew I wouldn't take his crap or insubordination. If he wasn't going to be part of the team, then he could shove off. And I would gladly space him. He agreed to do things my way. I won't have any more trouble with him, but we were very close to having one less in our number. Ass.

**Log 8:** If I survive this game another twenty years, will I resemble Zaeed? Scary thought. Need to think happy thoughts.

**Log 9:** My respect for Zaeed has grown. I may not like all of his methods, but he gets the job done. He is one tough son of a bitch.

**Log 10:** Visited with Zaeed after the Horizon mission. Just wanted to talk to someone about nothing. Then I noticed the trash compactor. Played with that, and then threw some knives while Zaeed told more depressing war stories. Good times.

**Log 11:** When this is all over, if Zaeed and I survive, I'll help him track down Vido. And if he lets me, I'll even help him settle the score. Twenty years is a long time to carry the weight of vengeance. And after this fight, he will deserve some peace. We all will.


	9. The Thief

**The Thief: Kasumi Goto**

**Log 1:** Picked up Kasumi Goto, a master thief, on the Citadel. She's an interesting individual. Need to ask about her cloaking techniques. I've been out of the game for two years, and my suit could use an upgrade.

**Log 2:** She is a nimble-fingered thief. Note to self: check personal belonging after every encounter.

**Log 3:** Finally, a bar in the _Normandy_. Although, I am not sure how wise it is to get drunk in the thief's quarters. But I like living dangerously. Only bit me in the ass once.

**Log 4:** We are off to Bekenstein to retrieve her lover's greybox. If we stick to the plan, we can get this done without any gunfire. Admittedly, I am intrigued by the idea of infiltrating and incapacitating a base wearing no more than a dress. Sounds like my type of good time.

**Log 5:** I destroyed the greybox for her. I've no idea what Alliance "secrets" disappeared with it. Don't much care. The box would have kept her tied to a past with no future. A worse fate than death. I know about death. And about being tied to a past lover unable to move forward. Fuck. Project much.

**Log 6:** She seems to be recovering well. I think she may have found some closure. She quieter than usual though. Which is saying a lot when you consider her profession.

**Log 7:** I love the dress she gave me. I'm not much for dresses, but I look *sharp* in this one. She has a good eye. No surprise.

**Log 8:** Funny. Kasumi is the only one who commented about me seeing Liara on Illium. I stayed silent. What could I say?

**Log 9:** Noticed she really likes the ramen from the Mess. Surprises me. I can't stand it.

**Log 10:** She has eyes for Jacob. Good for her. It's also a good thing Cerberus has no issues with internal fraternization.

**Log 11:** Drank too much with Kasumi last night at her "Star Bar". Hey…where did my Prothean relic go?

**Log 12:** We traded stealth techniques. She shared how best to distract and pickpocket a mark. I shared how to incapacitate three marks without uncloaking.


	10. The Engineer

**The Engineer: Tali'Zorah vas Neema/Normandy**

**Log 1:** Picked Tali up on the planet Haestrom. She and her crew were collecting data on a prematurely dying sun which, of course, was in geth territory. Tali. I have missed her. She's grown up, but she still has the same altruistic views. A welcome contradiction to my normal realistic optimism.

**Log 2:** Tali is looking into the "buggy" situation on the ship. I have started referring to her as "the exterminator". I don't think she fully appreciates the praise.

**Log 3:** I have a knack with electronic devices, but Tali is pure genius. She sees patterns in schematics like a musician writing a symphony.

**Log 4:** Tali heard about Horizon and heard about my encounter with Kaidan. Garrus must of have said something. She tried to make me feel better by talking about the past and how Kaidan wasn't much for thinking outside of his "Alliance box". But nothing she said could take away the initial sting of Kaidan's words: "You've changed…don't know where your loyalties lie… betrayed the Alliance". Indeed.

**Log 5:** Caught EDI and Tali in a heated debate about the AI controlling ship functions. Well, Tali was heated and EDI was…well…EDI. I left after Tali threatened to rewrite EDI's linguistic program. She sounds ferocious when threatening an AI.

**Log 6:** Gabby and Ken seem to have taken well to Tali. She can charm any engineer within a hundred meters. Even me.

**Log 7:** Tali is being accused of treason. We are heading to the Flotilla straight away. I don't know what started this idiocy, but I plan on helping Tali sort it out. Even if I have to bludgeon something to do it.

**Lot 8:** She was stripped of her quarian fleet identity and given a new name in accordance to her allegiance to the _Normandy_. Because of this I, as her captain, represented her at the trial. They charged her with bringing active geth onto a Fleet ship. Bullshit. We are heading over to her father's ship, the _Alarei, _to find evidence of her innocence. The ship has been silent for many days though, and I'm not sure what we will find. I have a bad feeling about this.

**Log 9:** Tali's father is dead. I almost broke seeing her in such pain and offered her what comfort I could. She was racked with guilt and sadness not only because of his death, but because of his misguided actions. I will find a way to protect Tali without shaming her family. You protect your family, no matter what. Period. End of story.

**Log 10:** The Flotilla was spectacular, but those inside didn't stray too much from every other sentient race. Political bullshit abounds. The Admiralty Board's infighting over their stance on the geth policy almost cost Tali to be exiled. Pissed me off, so I gave them my best "Council" speech yet: Kiss my ass and go to hell! Well, not in those exact words, but if you read between the lines… Tali was exonerated of all charges without any mention of her father.

**Log 11:** Tali seems to be in better spirits of late. And I don't think she minds being called Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. In fact, I think it is growing on her.

**Log 12:** Tali trusts me with her life. She would link suits with me (if I wore one). That is the greatest compliment a quarian can give. We've shed blood together (metaphorically speaking-those environmental suits are handy-must look into one for me) and I, too, trust Tali implicitly.

**Log 13:** Let me be very clear about something: I would kill for her.


	11. The Justicar

**Justicar: Samara**

**Log 1:** Found Samara on Illium. She definitely knows how to make an entrance. Grace and beauty dispensing exquisitely choreographed deaths. A regal killer. Not my style, but I admire the skill.

**Log 2:** Since when did I become a detective? I prefer bashing heads or lining up the perfect 200 meter shot. Nonetheless, I had fun threatening the corrupt volus, Pitne For, taking out an asari Eclipse merc who murdered Pitne's partner, toppling the Eclipse base and earning the gratitude of an asari detective, Anaya. I also found the shipping information Samara was seeking. She is now pledged into my service and swore the "Third Oath of Subsumation". Anaya had to lift her jaw off the floor. Apparently, a Justicar giving such an oath is a rarity and to be sworn to a human-unheard of. For now, my orders will take precedence over Samara's code. Although, she made it clear that if I cross a line, when her service is completed, her code may require that she kill me. Fantastic.

Oh…another thing. While storming the Eclipse hideout, I ran into a volus who claimed he was a "biotic god". I knocked some sense into him. It's the little things that make this job so much fun.

**Log 3:** Asari are an interesting species. Scientists want to bed you, commandos want to kill you and politicians want to manipulate you. Many thanks for dancers, bartenders and consorts.

**Log 4:** Justicars are unique to their race. Like earthborn samurai, they live by a strict code of ethics. They are required by oath to bring down anybody breaking asari law. I am surprised she made it off of Illium without killing anyone. Note: Don't introduce her to Liara.

**Log 5:** I admire Samara's dedication. Lonely path to walk. Much like a Spectre.

**Log 6:** Turns out Samara doesn't get human humor either. Maybe it is an asari thing. Need to test that theory.

**Log 7:** Is asari cleavage considered a defensible weapon? Matriarch Benezia, every other commando and now, Samara. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but really, is it part of their cultural heritage?

**Log 8:** Today, Samara killed her daughter, Morinth, an Ardat-Yakshi. We tracker her to Omega and found out where she liked to hunt. I lured Morinth out by piquing her curiosity at the Afterlife VIP room. She took me back to her apartment and while I kept her interest, Samara broke in. There was a moment when Morinth tried to convince me to let her take Samara's place. Instead, I gave Samara the opening she needed to finish Morinth. I cannot imagine the burden Samara now carries.

**Log 9:** I have been talking with Samara about my new biotic power. She calls it "Reave". She is helping me to understand it. I am unsettled by its very nature.

**Log 10:** Samara has sworn friendship and loyalty. A Justicar has my back and pledged to come to me if I ever required aid. A great honor. I'm not sure if I even comprehend the depth of this oath. I have a feeling it falls outside the Justicar code. Not by much. Just enough though.


	12. The Assassin

**The Assassin: Thane Krios**

**Log 1:** The search for the assassin, Thane Krios, started at Illium in Liara T'Soni's office. She is a good information broker. Nice that she paid my docking fees and gave me the information I needed for free. That's what friends do, right?

**Log 2:** I spoke to Liara's contact, Seryna. Turns out my old "friend" Nassana Dantius recently fired Seryna, so she gave Thane the exact whereabouts of Nassana. Nassana was no angel when I first met her, two years ago, on the Citadel and she lied about her sister. In fact, it sounds like she has become more ruthless over the years. Time to storm Dantius towers.

**Log 3:** Nassana thought I was there to kill her. Instead, Thane gracefully ended her life. I have no remorse for the loss. All of her actions would have led to that same outcome eventually. Curiously, Thane mentioned that Nassana thought one of her sisters would kill her. Great. More Dantius sisters to deal with in the future.

**Log 4:** Even though he used me as a distraction, in order to get close to his mark, I can't bring myself to be angry with him. It's something I would have done, if I had been in his role. Hell, I've done it. Makes me respect him right off.

**Log 5:** Oddly, he reminds me of Ashley Williams. Maybe it is his poetic nature or ultimately, his tragic outcome. Even if we survive this quest, he will eventually succumb to his disease. I suppose that is why I found myself in his room tonight, talking about having no regrets.

**Log 6:** He's confided in me about his wife and how she passed. While not the same, after defeating Saren, I feared a similar fate for Liara. Damn. Spending time with him makes me morose.

**Log 7:** With the help of Captain Bailey at the Citadel, we stopped Thane's son, Kolyat, from doing something exceptionally stupid. I pulled some strings with Bailey, and hopefully, Kolyat won't see much time inside a cell. Afterward, Thane thanked me. It seems he is on his own path of no regrets. Also, Captain Bailey is turning out to be a decent guy.

**Log 8:** I am glad Thane continues to talk to Kolyat. They both deserve some connection and closure. Thane seems to be reaching out for something more though. I have encouraged him to make connections with the crew on the ship.

**Log 9:** He called me "Siha". He wouldn't tell me what it meant, but I have EDI and the extranet. It is the name of "one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector." Is that how he sees me? I find I am flattered by the attention.

**Log 10:** The closest thing I have to his poignant memories are my songs. So I shared them and my voice with him tonight.

**Log 11:** I cannot dismiss my feelings for Liara, nor would I choose to do so. For better or worse, my heart belongs to her. I spoke with Thane about it tonight. I hope he is able to find the peace he seeks.


	13. Geth Infiltrator

**Geth Infiltrator: Legion**

**Log 1:** Picked up a fully intact, but deactivated geth while retrieving the Reaper IFF. No one has ever made this type of retrieval. Tali will surely have words, if I activate it.

**Log 2:** It helped us on the Reaper ship. Why? It is wearing a piece of N7 armor. Why? I want answers.

**Log 3:** I activated the geth. It has taken the name "Legion" via EDI's suggestion. I am a bit unsettled by the name. Sovereign said "our numbers are legion" during my first encounter with him on Virmire.

**Log 4:** Apparently, the geth are split. One faction, the "heretics" follow the Reapers (the "Old Machines"), and the other, Legion's faction, follow their own path. The existence of the heretics implies there is a greater degree of free will to geth programming than originally assumed. Also, using the word "heretic" has religious implications. I am reminded of the room with the glowing orb at Feros…staged much like a temple.

**Log 5:** The geth call Sovereign "Nazara" and the quarians are referred to as "the creators". This seems important, but I'm not sure what to do with it.

**Log 6:** Legion was created and dispatched to find me after Sovereign's defeat. Or what remained of me. According to the geth, I was the only being able to take down "Nazara" and, therefore, unique among my kind. The Alliance, Cerberus, Liara, the geth, the collectors… Guess my brusque personality endeared me to many.

**Log 7:** Legion has no answer as to why he is wearing my N7 armor. MY armor. How the hell did he find it? Why the hell did he put it on? "No data available" my ass. That smacks way too much like individual action for a "we are geth" machine.

**Log 8:** We infiltrated the "heretics" ship. Two choices before us: destroy them or rewrite them. Legion's people were conflicted, so they left the choice to me. That seemed like an odd call to me. But what choice was there? War is coming. I rewrote them.

**Log 9:** Tali almost blasted Legion into a thousand itty-bitty bits for attempting to send Flotilla data to the Geth. I talked them both down. We need to focus on the war in front of us, not the wars of our ancestors. Those wars will only weaken us. It is time to make some new choices. Tali graciously gave Legion some unclassified data to send, and Legion agreed not to relay any sensitive data. Guess we will see if Legion is true to "his" word or is individual enough to lie.


	14. The Counselor

**The Counselor: Kelly Chambers**

**Log 1:** What the hell kind of game is TIM playing? A counselor? On the ship? As if there weren't enough spies already. Administrative assistant, my ass!

**Log 2: **She asked me to call her Kelly. Okay. I can do that, but I still don't trust her. Even if she didn't work for Cerberus, she's a counselor. I had my fair share Alliance counselors trying to analyze me after Akuze.

**Log 3:** Feels like she has a bit of a "hero worship" complex… I don't know. Maybe I am imagining it.

**Log 4: **"Cerberus looks out for humanity, but that doesn't mean they hate aliens." She's right. Cerberus doesn't discriminate. They were quick enough to slaughter my platoon with Thresher Maws. Human, alien, virus…they don't care what devastation they build their kingdom on. Whatever it takes to make humanity number one.

**Log 5: **For a Cerberus employee, she is very open-minded in her opinions on aliens. That's good. But I still can't shake the idea of her being naïve.

**Log 6:** Admittedly, she does her job well. No personal message of mine escapes her notice…and that is why I respond to nothing. But in truth, she has some useful insights about the crew. I still don't fully trust her though. Cerberus and those who affiliate themselves with Cerberus will never have my trust. Never.

**Log 7: **I'll give her credit, she's perky. And bouncy. But there are times her extroverted nature comes off as a bit pushy.

**Log 8: **Okay…yeah…she's definitely flirting. After picking up Grunt, she mentioned she was unsure about him, so I told her not to worry that I wouldn't let him touch her. Then she replied, "If there was any touching to be done, you'd better be involved." Kudos for boldness. Still not interested though.

**Log 9: **After Horizon, she inquired about Kaiden. I kept my feelings and thoughts to myself. She hasn't earned the right to ask those kinds of personal questions.

**Log 10: **She's very open about her attraction to other species. I feel like I should give Thane and Garrus some notice. Heck…Tali, too, for that matter.

**Log 11: **She fishes an awful lot about my interest in the new crew members: Garrus, Thane, Jacob… I just roll my eyes and play along. The less she knows about Liara, the better.

**Log 12:** Okay. I've gotten use to her persistently positive attitude. I'm not sure what to do with it, but I can accept it.

.


	15. The Doctor

**The Doctor: Dr. Chakwas**

**Log 1:** Finally, another friendly face. Seeing the Doc allows me to breathe a little easier in this Cerberus tainted place. Nice to know her loyalty still lies with me, not them. Nice to know she has faith in me as well. At least one of us does. In the end, it's just nice to know I have a trusted confidant on this ship.

**Log 2:** She has as much wanderlust as I do. Being stationed planet-side did not agree with her nature, so she took the stars again. I completely understand that drive to be in space.

**Log 3:** I've spoken with Doc about my "condition". She is going to do a full physical to get a better understanding of my new physique.

**Log 4: **Apparently, in the wreck of the Normandy SR-1, Doc lost an old, unopened bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy. If I find one, I will get it for her. It's the simple pleasures in life the keep us sane.

**Log 5: **Got a message from Chakwas. My cybernetic scars can be healed one of two ways: positive thinking or an expensive medical bay upgrade. I'll wait and see what my attitude brings.

**Log 6:** Thank the gods for Chakwas! She worked her special magic and saved Garrus' ass. Whatever I have to do, I will make sure she knows her value and worth. Hell, I think she may even have improved Garrus' looks for him.

**Log 7:** Found a bottle of her Brandy. We popped it open and reminisced over old _Normandy SR-1_stories. Alenko, Jenkins, Williams… She also confided the real reason she joined Cerberus: Joker. We raised our glasses in a toast to the cranky bastard, and then she passed out.

**Log 8: **She was pissed when she her about Alenko's rant on Horizon. The normally polite Doctor had a few choice words for the old Normandy Lieutenant. Damn…I wouldn't have guessed it, but she has an impressive vocabulary. I think I saw Garrus blush.

**Log 9: **After Illium, she asked about Liara. What could I say? I just told her that Liara looked good.

**Log 10:** We upgraded the medical bay, but so far, my scars are healing naturally. Every now and again, I catch sight of a cybernetic glow in my eyes, but I'm going to wait it out.

**Log 11:** Well, she didn't ask about Wrex after we left Tuchanka. I think she still holds a grudge about the time he accidently broke the med bed. He's a big guy, things like that happen.


	16. Personal Log Files

_**This message has been encrypted by Chiktikka protocol VII **_

**Lakota Shepard's Personal Logs:**

**Proof the universe has a sense of humor:**

1- Omni-gel. 'nuff said  
2- I am a Spectre. I was brought back from the dead. I am a "spectre".  
3- Thresher maws  
4- The Mako rolling down a mountainside  
5- Grunt chasing pyjaks  
6- The Citadel Council  
7- Everyone on my infiltration teams, past and present, had a fucked up childhood.

**Log 1:** Nightmares continue. Not every night. A mix of elements from Earth, Akuze, the Protheans, Virmire and the Citadel. Mostly the images claw and pull at me until I feel as though I am drowning. I am blown into space, helplessly struggling to breathe as the Normandy's wreckage is silhouetted by a blazing sun. I wake gasping for breath, feeling as though a sledgehammer hit my burning chest. Can you ever escape your own death?

**Log 2:** After the "Battle of the Citadel", I was tagged a hero. The first human Spectre saved the galaxy. Bullshit. I stopped nothing. I was part of a crew that waylaid a scout ship. We only succeeded in postponing the inevitable invasion. Then I died. Some "hero". What do you do with that?

_[Edited after Illium]_ Turns out I didn't have to do a blasted thing. Cerberus recruited Dr. Liara T'Soni who found my body, gave it to them, and then walked away. Apparently, I was only "mostly dead" (Ashley is probably rolling in her grave on that one). As for Cerberus, a cocktail of credits, nanites, cybernetics, synthetics and medi-gel will do wonders for human longevity. But they do nothing for reputation, because now I am tagged a terrorist.

**Log 3:** Met Tali'Zorah vas Neema at the human colony, Freedom's Progress. I helped her find another quarian, Veetor. She declined joining me because of her own mission. I was glad to hear the geth data I gave to her two years ago helped complete her pilgrimage though. Veetor went with her, but we took a copy of his omni-tool data which clearly shows the collectors abducting colonists.

**Log 4:** I travelled to the Citadel and met up with Captain, I mean "Councilor", Anderson. I forced the Council's hand and had my Spectre status reinstated. Anderson doesn't trust me because of Cerberus. The Council continues to ignoring me. Donnel Udina is still a raving idiot. Two years doesn't change much.

**Log 5:** People forget what I can do. They forget where I came from and what I am truly capable of doing. I am a hardened veteran of countless successfully choreographed military maneuvers. I have been dropped in the midst of hostiles with only my wits and a sniper rifle to weed out the vermin. I can split a hair from 400 meters with _Hela_, my M98-Widow, sniper rifle. I can infiltrate an enemy base, hack their systems and blow the blasted thing to hell. I can disappear from visual and electronic surveillance long enough to walk up behind you and tattoo "Boo" on your ass. Why then, for the love of all things blue, can I NOT get a decent meal on this "state of the art" tin can?

**Log 6:** The woman who has issues with her genetic and cybernetic alterations is supposed to "help _me_" come to terms with my own cybernetic augmentation. Yeah. Right.

**Log 7:** Joker and EDI have an interesting interaction. Think I will quietly watch from the sidelines.

**Log 8:** Got some rations on Omega. Food in the Mess has improved.

**Log 9:** The new _Normandy_ doesn't feel the same to me. Maybe it is the stench of Cerberus lingering in the air. Dr. Chakwas and Joker do make this place a bit easier to bear though.

**Log 10:** Met up with a former crime boss turned social worker today. Helena Blake is using her knowledge of the criminal underworld to help the less fortunate on Omega. Guess my heavy-handed persuasion on Amaranthine made an impact.

**Log 11:** The Illusive Man (TIM) is a blowhard much like the Council. But at least he's not sticking his head in the sand when it comes to the Reapers. Still…it makes me ill to be tied to Cerberus in any fashion. Patience, Lakota. Patience.

**Log 12:** I have started gathering a team to go after the Collectors. The irony of the situation does not escape me. Collectors hunted and killed me, now I will hunt and kill them. Nor does the irony of my name. Shepard shepherding a bunch of misfits, self included, for the hunt.

**Log 13:** Just once I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say "Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached." Or am I the only idiot who does that?

**Log 14: **A krogan warlord should be no one's trophy! I reminded "The Patriarch" of his birthright, his former glory, and he ferociously stood his enemies down. He died in battle. A worthy death for a krogan warrior. Aria was not pleased, but she wasn't upset either.

**Log 15:** Chakwas and I reminisced over some Serrice Ice Brandy. Found out the real reason she joined Cerberus: Joker will always need her help with his Vrolik syndrome. His need offers her stability, and serving on the _Normandy _with Joker and I brings her comfort. Ditto, Doctor. Ditto.

**Log 16:** Aria T'Loak: Grand Mistress of Omega. She gave me information about Mordin and Archangel and I, in turn, helped her out of a few jams. I am under no illusion that we are friends though.

**Log 17:** TIM is a dead man. He deliberately leaked information to the Alliance about my Cerberus crafted resurrection and setup the Horizon colonists, and Kaidan, as bait for the Collectors. BAIT! Thankfully, we were able to save some of the colonists. Oh…and Kaidan got to chastise me for my Cerberus "affiliation". That was fun.

**Log 18:** I've been thinking about my resurrection. I can wrap my mind around the physical recuperation: cybernetics, synthetics and organic matter interwoven with medi-gel. Dr Frankenstein did it, so why not Cerberus? It's the mental, gray matter aspect that has me in a quandary. Did my synching with the Prothean relics somehow give my synaptic brain waves more tenacity than a "normal" human?

**Log 19:** We went to Illium in search of two more recruits. As Jack said, "One bad day away from being the next Omega." Saw Dr. Liara T'Soni. That was as much fun as having a singularity slapped on my ass. I am going to go get drunk with Kasumi.

_[Later drunken edit] _I like my space hamster. Simple creature. He has simple needs, he appreciates my affection, he hasn't told me in unsaid words to "Go to hell" and he hasn't callously dismissed me so he could go seek some vengeance laced quest. And he's not blue. That's probably why I don't fully trust the fish. Fuck. Going back to the Port Observation Room which has been newly christened the "Star Bar".

**Log 20:** At least solid foods are back on my menu. Took long enough for my new body to adjust.

**Log 21:** I'm sure my Yeoman, Kelly, also the ship's counselor, is a nice girl, but damn… Could she be more obvious with her flirtation? Sorry, Kelly. Not interested.

**Log 22:** While on Illium I ran into Gianna Parasini. I helped her with another corporate espionage issue. The woman has a knack for this type of work…and getting me to help her. She's mentioned that dark energy is next on her list. Interesting. At least she bought me the beer promised back on Noveria.

**Log 23:** Why is it that people only want to divulge their personal history AFTER I do them some sort of favor?

**Log 24:** In all of my travels, I don't think I've met anyone denser than Conrad Verner. Threatening him with a gun two years ago didn't work, so this time I shot him. Nothing serious. Just a flesh wound. He pissed me off for wearing N7 armor. Doesn't matter that it was fake. The asari bartender approved.

**Log 25:** Guess Illium is the place for reunions. Shiala, the asari acolyte who was cloned by the Thorian, was trying to negotiate a medical contract for the colonists of Zhu's Hope. She, too, has some long-term side-effects because of her contact with the Thorian: green completion and unstable biotics. I helped her out with the negotiations. Afterwards, she professed an interest beyond mere friendship, saying: "Maybe sometime, when I'm not organizing the colony and you're not... doing whatever you do." Green or not, she still looks good.

**Log 26:** Spent some time at the Eternity lounge on Illium. I enjoyed drinks and conversation with the bartender, Aethyta, a Matriarch who had a krogan "father". She was very appreciative that I got rid of Conrad. I wonder if she is a shapechanger as well. After a few drinks, she seemed somewhat younger, and her markings turned pinkish. She has interesting ideas about asari maidens, constructing new mass relays and wanting the asari to be more militant and involved in galactic dealings. I like her.

**Log 27:** Why, oh why, am I not surprised that the Cerberus' Project: Overlord spat out death and moral decay? Dr Archer hooked his own autistic brother, David, up to a battery of machines, in order to study and attempt to control the geth. I was able to shutdown the bases, shutdown the core and shutdown the project. I was a hair's breadth away from permanently shutting down Dr. Archer as well, but pistol whipped him instead. Not nearly as satisfying. With the help of Dr. Chakwas and Tali, David was removed from the geth neural network and taken to the Jon Grissom Academy.

**Log 28:** Shelving Liara for another time. Another life.

**Log 29:** There has been a change in me since my resurrection. I am biotic now. Cybernetics? Synthetics? Eezo? I've talked with Samara, and she has given me some insight about this new biotic power. I am a bit disturbed by the ability. Apparently, it is an uncommon manifestation even in asari. No wonder though. To drain life-force from an organic or energy from a synthetic and have it replenish your own health is a bit macabre. Vampiric really. I am a trained soldier and am accustomed to death, but this…this is parasitic at best. I will talk more with Samara.

**Log 30:** I have asked Chakwas and Tali to do full workup of medical scans and cybernetic schematics on me. Tali was upset by the implied significance. I don't care what TIM said. Cerberus cannot be trusted. Anyone else ever think I could be a walking, talking digital recorder/transmitter?

**Log 31:** Just to set the record straight: there are no fish on the Citadel Presidium.

**Log 32:** Received a message from Sha'ira, the Consort on the Citadel. In it she reaffirmed her gift of words given two years ago. In my head, I quipped, "That's it?"

**Log 33:** Sometimes when I activate the Galaxy map, I half- expect to hear Admiral Hackett's voice over the comm asking for help with some "doom driven" mission.

**Log 34:** In private message, the former Corporal Toombs accused me of allying with Cerberus. Two years ago I ran across Toombs, one of my squad mates from the massacre on Akuze. He was about to kill a Cerberus scientist who was involved in the Akuze thresher maw attacks and unsanctioned testing on Toombs. I killed the scientist instead. But Toombs' present day accusations bother me. I remember Admiral Kahoku's murder. The husk experiments. The Rachni experiments. The thresher maw experiments. The thorian creeper experiments. Project: Overlord. And especially, Project: Lazarus. I tell myself that I am not working for them. That I have my own agenda. That I am doing the best I can in a crappy situation. But maybe I am delusional. Maybe I really have thrown in with the devil.

**Log 35:** I have EDI searching for information on the Batarian terrorist, Balak. Two years ago, he escaped my capture by putting the colonist's lives on Terra Nova in jeopardy. Now I hunt him.

**Log 36:** Sometimes I feel like the mad prophet on Omega. "The Reapers are coming! The Reapers are coming!" The Council ignores me. The Alliance ignores me. The only people who believe me are the ones I force into hell, so they can see it with their own eyes. And then they continue to follow me into battle because everyone else will think they are mad, as well.

Well, most of them continue to follow me…

Ashley is dead. I didn't care for all of her poetry and religious dogma, but I respected her as a soldier and called her friend. She died on Virmire. She died bravely. She died honorably. She died because of my choice.

Wrex is trying to save his race. I may be able to help him out.

Kaidan feels betrayed by me. He is an Alliance man through and through, so duty comes first.

Liara is trying to absolve her guilt-ridden conscience. Her rage is all-consuming. I understand it. I even respect it, but I can't quite forgive her for what feels like callous dismissal. It's been two years for her, but barely a month for me. Anybody ever think about that? Fuck, no. Being mostly dead spaces your personal life to hell.

**Log 37:** Admiral Hackett transmitted the location of the _Normandy SR-1_ crash site and requested that I place a monument there. It was like walking on my own grave. The silence was deafening. I even found my old helmet amidst the debris. Surreal. I recovered the dog tags of twenty missing soldiers, raised the monument, said goodbye and then got the hell out of there.

**Log 38:** Met up with Urdnot Wrex on Tuchanka. I have missed him! "Shepard!" "Wrex!" Did I say how much I have missed him? He sees the world's grey, but is able to keep things very black and white. A good ability to hone.

**Log 39:** I am debating whether to send the genophage research to Wrex now or wait until Mordin has an opportunity to look it over more carefully.

**Log 40:** I'm not sure if I should find humor, sadness or irony when comparing myself to Saren. He was a Spectre who ended up cybernetically enhanced by a race who wants to exterminate all other organic races. I am a Spectre who ended up cybernetically enhanced by a race who wants to be supreme over all other races. I am having a difficult time seeing much difference between.

**Log 41:** Got a fascinating Prothean relic, an orb, from an off-world mission. It shrank in size when I touched it. I can't help but wonder if my Prothean touched mind allows me to somehow "be in synch" with Prothean devices. Of course, it only reminds me of Liara. Much like the picture on my desk. I am such an idiot.

**Log 42:** I've upgraded all aspects of the Normandy with the help of Garrus, Jacob and Tali: weapons, armor and shields. Also, I invested in the team's offensive abilities through Mordin, Jack, Legion and Grunt's help. Miranda, Samara and Thane helped improved the ship's exploration abilities. I even upgraded the Med bay, but I have yet to use it to heal my scars. They seem to be fading on their own. Mostly.

We are ready.

**Log 43:** We will test the Reaper IFF tomorrow. Time for the real fun to begin.

**Log 44:** My crew has been taken. Stolen by the collectors. I am going to go get them back. The collectors are going to feel the wrath of an undead Spectre tear across their universe. A warrior who has lined up her target and who WILL-NOT-MISS. Rage incarnate. There is no hope for any who stand in my way.

**Log 45:** This is likely my final log entry. Now that I am about to jump into the abyss and meet the collectors face to face, I find I am grateful for one thing. I am glad Liara is not here. She is safe for one more day and that is enough.


	17. RE: Shadow Broker Base

_**This message has been encrypted by Chiktikka protocol VII **_

From: Commander Lakota Shepard, SPECTRE

RE: The Shadow Broker

Liara,

Knowledge of the Shadow Broker's whereabouts recently came into my possession via Cerberus agents. I held onto the intel because I wanted to verify it was valid – I have no trust or love of Cerberus - and I was hoping to lend a hand in the recovery of your friend. The intel is good, but I will not be joining you. I am sorry.

You will need a small, experienced strike team for a successful "search and rescue" op. Although you are talented information broker, you mentioned trust was in short quantity on Illium. With that in mind, I took the liberty of collecting on some favors owed to me for your behalf. These individuals know to look for you.

Tuchanka, Clan Leader Urdnot Wrex: Wrex will have an experienced krogan warrior from his clan at your disposal. No questions asked.

The Flotilla, Kal'Reegar: He is a quarian team leader. He wants to repay me for saving Tali and for another matter. He has information on a quarian engineer who could be of use to you. Not in Tali's league, but a viable asset, nonetheless. As you know, quarians are the best at tech ops.

Citadel, Raelis Sourjurn: A salarian who is a former member of the Special Tasks Group. Mordin Solus and Captain Kirrahe both vouch for his abilities. You can find him at Dark Star bar on the Citadel.

Omega, Daniel Rodriguez: A human, Blue Suns mercenary. Anto, Aria T'loak's bodyguard can direct you to this individual. Be careful of Aria.. She is very astute and can be rude as hell, but no bullshit will be given if you mention my name. Daniel is a former Alliance N7 member. We ran a few ops together. Tell him "Boo" sent you, and he will give you no grief. While I was in the N7 black ops branch, I had a particular talent for sneaking up on individuals. Often times I would whisper "Boo" in their ear just to see them jump or tattoo it on their body. I did this to our XO to prove a point. Afterward, the call name stuck.

I wish you luck on your hunt for the Shadow Broker. I said it before, but I feel it needs to be said again: Don't become that which you hunt. It is an easy pit to fall into, and you are so much more than a figure bent on grief, vengeance and rage. Please understand there is no judgment; I am just a friend who is concerned for your well-being.

Be well. Live well.

-Lakota


	18. Epilogue: Final Letter to Liara

_**This message has been encrypted by Chiktikka protocol VII **_

From: Commander Lakota Shepard, SPECTRE

Liara,

It seems I have a way with words right before impending battle, but as a compliment to the affect you have on me, this gift does not appear to carryover when writing to you. I struggle to know what to say.

In my past, I fought for people who had no control over their circumstances. I wanted to protect those who were victims of tragedy, and punish those exacting the tragedy. I did so with great skill and efficiency, but with no real sense of personal investment. Then you entered my life and something within me awoke. I started to look at the world around me a little differently. I looked within you, and for the first time, felt what it was like to fall in love.

I love you.

Those words have never passed through my lips. I only wish I could look into your mesmerizing blue eyes one more time and whisper them in your direction. In the rare quiet moments of solitude that find me, I am still haunted by the silken undertones of the word "Commander" as it slips through your lips and I slyly intone "Doctor". Never have two more innocent words been used in such suggestively passionate dialogue.

I miss you. I miss your presence. Over these last few months, your absence from my life has been the most difficult issue for me to reconcile, and I never came close to finding closure.

As is the way of things, I once again find myself fighting for those same victims of tragedy, but this time I am vested in their survival. The kaleidoscope that is my life has been enhanced by the vibrant hues of your presence, and I wish to give others the opportunity to add to their own color scheme. So you see, Doctor, our time together, although shockingly brief, was poignant and profound for me.

Over the years, I have been called a hero, but as you know, I have always been uncomfortable with that term. Lately though, I have spent some time asking the question "What makes a hero?". I feel it is someone who stands up in the moment and fights with purpose for the betterment of those around them. Someone who does not dwell in the past, and who isn't paralyzed by the future. It is someone who steps up in the present and changes things for the better. Although I don't see myself as a hero, I do recognize and will pursue those goals with all that I have to give. The time is now and I am in the right place. I will not falter, I will not hesitate. To do any less would not honor those who have fallen before nor would it honor the sacrifices that so many of us have made on this path.

Fate has no play in my current circumstances- I am choosing my path. I have been granted a second chance at stopping the rising dark tide and I am grateful. We fight for something bigger than ourselves, for more than just humanity, we are fighting for the galactic community. I am not afraid to stand in their way.

I am not afraid, but I carry a heaviness within my heart for the things that I never told you. The things I never said.

I want to thank you for the second chance you've given me. Although this message may not be the way I had hoped to tell you these things, it has provided the opportunity to convey how much our short time together marked me and to let you know that I carry you with me even now. Death could not erase your presence from me, so I go forward secure in the knowledge that my passion, my love for you, will transcend my time in this world. I am a better person for having known you.

Yours always,

-Lakota


End file.
